I think I am sensitive to echos of the past. I have seen ghosts, and have lived haunted places. I am honestly not sure I believe my own experiences, so I completely get your skepticism.
Regardless, my life goes better when I take some care in going into spaces that have held big human emotions for decades and centuries. I get fatigued in antique stores. I love them, but I need to monitor my energy level and leave as soon as I feel fatigued, otherwise the emotions attached to those objects can overwhelm me.
So, I needed to be mindful going into the ancient places in Rome, like the Colosseum, the crypts, and catacombs. I have a grounding ritual where I envision sealing myself with white light, and I made sure to do that before entering any of those spaces.
Does it actually work? Who knows. The placebo effect works around 50 percent of the time. So maybe it works because I believe it to be so. That’s good enough for me.
So, in addition to that at The Vatican there’s the mental fatigue that comes from reconciling the raw political power and wealth of the church with a poor rebel who said things like the meek shall inherit the earth. I don’t even really ascribe to these beliefs anymore, but the ostentatious display of wealth at The Vatican still made me feel nauseous. Further, it was difficult for me to see these riches and then think about how the church in its response to abuse allegations clearly moved to protect these riches and its reputation over protecting children.
As if those aren’t reasons enough to feel drained, we also walked over 30,000 steps on this day. So. I am so thankful for this experience. But this day was hard on multiple levels, and I feel bad in no way whatsoever to say that I will never go back to The Vatican again.
On thing of note: we have no pictures of the Sistine Chapel. Photography is forbidden in there. It was amazing, but kissing the papal ring and giving them an offering of money once was enough. I will not do it again.