I started taking drum lessons about 4 years ago. I grew up playing piano, and took up guitar at 18, so playing music wasn’t unfamiliar to me. At the time, I was primarily listening to contemporary indie rock. I liked bands like Death Cab For Cutie, Interpol, Phoenix, Tame Impala, The Decemberists, and Muse.

I don’t fully understand the ways in which playing drums has changed me as a listener, but change has certainly happened. In the last five years, I have shifted away from recent indie releases and toward 70’s and 80’s pop and rock. I’ve always loved 80’s music for nostalgic reasons. But until the last 5 years, I’ve had little to no use for anything in the 70’s not related to early New Wave or Disco.

But here I am thrilled to listen to Fleetwood Mac, Three Dog Night, and even bombastic rock anthems from The Who and Queen. And I simply don’t know what to make of it. I am a little ashamed to admit how deeply music has been intertwined with my sense of identity. And losing my interest in indie rock feels a like losing a part of myself.

Perhaps I should consider this an opening. By losing this aspect of my identity I am freeing myself from obligatory listening and more free to just follow my ears. Perhaps the appropriate response is to acknowledge the sense of loss, but with the knowledge that it clears the path for something new.