Upon my re-entry to the cable world, I have found that TV still sucks. I find the only channel that I can regularly find non-irritating programming on is HGTV. Show topics range from home improvement to home buying.

These seem like pretty benign topics. That was precisely my thought upon flicking on HGTV. After a few weeks of viewing, I have concluded that TV producers can make even the most benign topic obnoxious.

The first detail that put me off was the price range of the first-time homebuyers show. Who spends half a million dollars on their first home? There are only two correct answers to this question. 1. Rich people. 2. Idiots. Since I have noticed the pricing, I spend the whole show trying to determine which category the buyers fall into.

The second detail that put me off was the first words out of most potential buyers mouths upon entering kitchens. They comment on the existence of granite countertops, or lack there of. Then they comment on the stainless steel appliances, or lack there of.  While this will never happen because the properties on these shows are always a couple hundred thousand dollars or more, I dream of an episode in which the kitchen has granite appliances and stainless steel counters.

Ugh. Congressional hearings are on about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. I need to wrap this up and prepare to feel enraged.